i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
