There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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