If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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