Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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