He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
