She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
