Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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