It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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