Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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