he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
