i think my mom watched the whole time
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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