There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
