I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
