You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Randomize
