dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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