i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
