NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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