I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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