I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
