Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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