Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
