She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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