dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My life is pants optional.
Your penis caused this!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
