Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
