Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
