what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
