I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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