i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Randomize
