So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
