I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I party with great urgency now.
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