Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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