Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
