I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
