I puked a lego.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
