everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
