im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You ruined the universe
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
