In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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