I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
