I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
