I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
