Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
