He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
birth control should be required to get into college
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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