I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
