thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
