definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
