Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
