Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
