You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
