There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
