As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
