Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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