I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
MIDGETS
????
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
