We're facebook friends in real life
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
