If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
