i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
